Recall Update

Phew. It wasn't easy, but I finally made a decision about Zach's recall. I did decide to recall him. Sure, his actions were understandable, and he was a good friend, and I think he would have been a fine manager, but what he did was really wrong. Even if you're under a lot of stress, it's not right to try to scare someone away from you. Zach claimed that he was an intrinsically non-violent person, and honestly, it's true. Scaring her was the only way he could get rid of her because he wouldn't really be able to physically hurt her. In all his destructive activities, he never has physically hurt anyone. There were some rumors of a tussle he had with Emily that resulted in some rug burns or something, but since Emily was not willing to talk about it (claimed it was irrelevant, but I don't think that's true), they remain as rumors.

So I can list off forever how he's not such a bad person, but he did something really sleazy and I can't just write that off.

One of the things that changed my mind in the end was one of the people who was advocating against the recall. Joe, who was also a friend of both Zach and Julie, kept saying it was a private matter and didn't involve the house. To an extent, I think he was right and the whole thing shouldn't have been so public, but I got to thinking about how he might react if he had cheated on a girlfriend (I'm not sure whether or not he has one, but let's assume he does as a thought experiment) and then she had invaded his privacy, found out, and destroyed his room. I also thought of how the house might perceive that. This theoretical girlfriend would have been seen as some psychotic bitch, even if she did have some sort of history of breaking things. I think people would have had a much easier time recalling her than they are currently having with Zach.

Zach seems more reasonable because of his personality, because he does have a reputation for being destructive. But having a negative reputation shouldn't mean you get relaxed standards, and when I hold him to the same standards as most people, I find myself wanting to recall him. Also, he makes people uncomfortable, and even though I think there's no cause for it, I feel the need to respect their wishes to an extent as well. He actually will perform worse if people are not comfortable bringing their problems to him.

Sigh. I'm trying to justify my decision, but I'm still pretty bummed about it. I stand by my choice, but it really sucks that I ever had to make that decision. Zach is, at his core, a really decent person. He's really fun to hang out with. When you get past the rough exterior, he's really very sweet. I could barely begin to describe all the romantic things he did for Julie. His image is important to him, but he still wore a suit for her on their anniversary and her birthday. His steady job provides him rent credit (not any actual money), but he still managed to scrape together enough to buy her a diamond necklace (albeit a small diamond) on Valentine's Day. She's the only person he'll pause for while watching the Sopranos. There's a long list of sweet things he did. I don't think he's a bad person by any means. Admittedly, I didn't see what went on behind closed doors, but from all I could see, they had a good relationship. It makes sense that he would be so upset when that relationship fell apart. His actions seem so understandable to me, but now that I've made the decision to recall him, I feel like I can't actually be his friend anymore. How can I vote that someone did something wrong and then still remain friends with them afterward? Just because the vote was anonymous doesn't mean I can act like I voted his way. Not that I think it'll even matter. He probably won't even want to be in Stebbins after this. It was just so weird as I was pressing the button to vote. I knew that once I'd voted, I'd be losing a friend. Friends fall out of touch and fade away, but to know the exact instant when you are no longer friends is really weird. I didn't like it. I wish things could have been different.


Thanks to everyone who gave me advice. And extra thanks to Jon for actually reading that enormous post. You're advice was really helpful. I know you're not the biggest fan of long entries. I copied it to word to see how big it was- 4 pages single spaced. Now that takes dedication. :)