Lessons I ought to learn

Next time I'm placed in a situation where I have no means of refrigeration, I will not ask for leftovers. If I fail to learn that lesson, I will not attempt to make a makeshift refrigerator using ice and a bucket. If I fail to learn that lesson, I will not assume that just because the leftovers are touching ice, they are being kept cold enough to maintain general health standards. Furthermore, if I return after 24 hours to find the ice melted, I will not stick my finger in the food, shrug and say "cold enough," and then eat the food anyway because it was tasty and expensive. I will especially avoid doing this with meats and seafood.

If I fail to learn these lessons, I will at least have the presence of mind to maintain close proximity to a bathroom for the next several hours following my idiotic surge of cheapness.