Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I'm fucking eloquent, godammit!
And it hurts that I still can't talk! At first I thought, hey I'll pantomime and make do. Well the longer I've had to make do, the more painfully aware I become that nuances of language are lost on my vehement hand motions. It doesn't help that Steven isn't into charades that much. It bothers me so much being unable to talk for so long. At first it's a mild inconvenience and kind of an interesting change of pace. That gets stale very quickly. Now it's to the point where I am starting to worry about how I'll be able to teach. I don't want to take any more sick days. It does present and interesting problem though. And it doesn't help that the first test in algebra 1 is this Friday. This is the big benchmark test too. Everyone in the district is taking it because we're under DAIT (district assisted intervention team). In other words, our API scores as a district weren't high enough, so now we all have to jump through hoops. And one hoop is standardized tests across the whole district for algebra 1. Maybe also algebra readiness. I just feel bad about how badly they're going to fail. I wish I could do more for them, especially since I know there are some students who would work if things were just a little different. It doesn't even have to be a lot. I suppose I shouldn't expect too much of myself the first year, but I feel like I'm so close to being vaguely passable, as opposed to the total fail I've got going on now. It's incredibly frustrating. Sigh.
But anyway, back to my mute status. Really, it's just an excuse for my students doing poorly. Honestly, there probably wouldn't be that much of a change if I was perfectly healthy. It's just frustrating being asked a question and being unable to respond. Or having a question and being unable to ask it. I've been pretty down all day because I feel incredibly cut off from everyone around me. They're all communicating with ease, but whenever I want to contribute, it takes an incredible amount of effort. I have to type it all out or pantomime or just sit there looking sad as I try to think of some way to get my ideas across. I hate this so much. And every time I try to talk or whisper, I know that makes it last that much longer and takes that much longer to get better. But how can I function without talking sometimes? How do I order takeout? How do I get my car fixed? How do I teach? This is so horrible.
And the worst part is how long it's taking to get better. I've lost my voice before. It's taken a day or two to get better usually. It's been almost 5 days now. I'm worried that it's not getting better. It's scary. And honestly, it doesn't feel much better even now. Ok, it was really messed up on Wednesday. I couldn't even whisper then, so it's definitely better than it was, but it feels like it's plateaued. It hasn't shown much improvement in days. I made a doctors appointment for Wednesday. Hopefully it'll be better by then. I think it will get better eventually, but it worries me for now, and it's incredibly inconvenient. It just sucks.
But anyway, back to my mute status. Really, it's just an excuse for my students doing poorly. Honestly, there probably wouldn't be that much of a change if I was perfectly healthy. It's just frustrating being asked a question and being unable to respond. Or having a question and being unable to ask it. I've been pretty down all day because I feel incredibly cut off from everyone around me. They're all communicating with ease, but whenever I want to contribute, it takes an incredible amount of effort. I have to type it all out or pantomime or just sit there looking sad as I try to think of some way to get my ideas across. I hate this so much. And every time I try to talk or whisper, I know that makes it last that much longer and takes that much longer to get better. But how can I function without talking sometimes? How do I order takeout? How do I get my car fixed? How do I teach? This is so horrible.
And the worst part is how long it's taking to get better. I've lost my voice before. It's taken a day or two to get better usually. It's been almost 5 days now. I'm worried that it's not getting better. It's scary. And honestly, it doesn't feel much better even now. Ok, it was really messed up on Wednesday. I couldn't even whisper then, so it's definitely better than it was, but it feels like it's plateaued. It hasn't shown much improvement in days. I made a doctors appointment for Wednesday. Hopefully it'll be better by then. I think it will get better eventually, but it worries me for now, and it's incredibly inconvenient. It just sucks.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Over the hump
The first week of teaching damn near killed me. I was working more than 12 hour days and falling flat on my face. There's nothing much harder than putting your heart into something and trying to go out of your comfort zone and make your lesson different and interesting and engaging only to have it get derailed entirely. It's a pretty bitter moment when you realize that no matter how many hours you put into something and no matter how hard you work, you are going to fail. Then again, it might be more accurate to describe that sentiment as bittersweet. Sure, it sucks to know that there's not much you can do to make things go well. I mean, all throughout college, classes were hard, but if I put in the hours, I could do well. I was willing to put in the time and I subsequently did well in my classes. It's a tough proposition to go changing the rules. In college there's always someone in any class who's going to be on top and do well. The trick is just to be that person. Work harder than the next guy and you're set. Now the rules are all different. Even someone phoning it in will outshine you in a second if they've been doing it a while. In fact, you're pretty guaranteed to do poorly no matter what. It takes some of the fight out of the whole thing.
But there's where things have their bright side as well. I was working myself to death with very little results. Since I knew I wasn't going to get the results, I stopped working myself to death. Turns out the quality of each lesson did not change drastically. And if you mess up, oh well. You were going to do that anyway. Who cares if it was something preventable? Something unpreventable would have come up instead. On Friday, I accidentally turned off my alarm instead of pressing snooze. Woops! So I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants that day, but it turned out fine. 6th period was incredibly chatty and didn't work in the classtime provided. 4th period did some of the most godawful presentations I have ever seen. 1st through 3rd periods were probably bored out of their minds. Whatever. They'll live. And hey, half of algebra 1 and algebra readiness fail anyway. Not the greatest of attitudes perhaps, but it takes the pressure off of me somewhat. I mean, seriously, what was I thinking? I was going to be the one to turn them all around? In my first year? Not too likely. I'll do what I can with whom I can. But for that large subsection of the class that isn't focusing, it's nothing new. I have some plans to get them on task for next week, but it's not that big of a deal whatever the case is. I'm trying. If I don't get rehired, oh well. I mean, I do get paid a lot less than a teacher who's been around a while. That's got to mean something. They found me in the bargain bin- they can't expect me to be in pristine condition. And sure I'd like to be rehired, but if I'm not I feel pretty confident that I could find a lower stress, higher paying job elsewhere in a year. Or even lower paying. Whatever. *shrug*
I feel a lot more prepared to handle what I've got right now, but I also know that in a week's time, I should have much smaller class sizes as well, and that should help a lot. Part of me is actually a little worried about it. I have a few students that it's going to break my heart if they get transferred out. There's this one in my algebra 1. She's a total punk and she never works and she talks a lot, but I just can't dislike her. Seriously. I don't know why, but it's like she can do no wrong. She asked for a bathroom pass and as I was writing one up, she told me she was going to go to J hall to use the bathroom (on the other side of the school - we're talking at least a 7 minute walk one way) where she was going to do her makeup. It's a 5 minute bathroom pass and she told me straight she was going to take 20 minutes. I told her I appreciated the honesty, but she really had to be back in 5. She said she wouldn't and I let he go anyway. I couldn't help it - she's hilarious. She makes me laugh a lot. It's kind of a funny change, because you would not believe the hell she gave me in that first week. Seriously I should have hated her and considered her my problem student, but I just couldn't do it. I think it has to do with the day after last Thursday (my day of hell). I moved her to the back of the room (as requested), far away from her friends. She didn't talk that much and she even yelled out answers from time to time. It was so not what I was expecting that it completely endeared her to me. I think it's also because I noticed how smart she is. She's seriously really intelligent. And I think she's really really nice under the tough exterior too. I just can't get mad at her, no matter how little work she does. But she made my day on Friday. Right now I'm super hopeful and a little nervous. She said she'd do her homework this weekend! I asked and she said she'd do it! Teeheeheehee! So if she gets transferred out of my class, I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to do whatever I can to get her back in. I probably can't do a thing, but I'm still going to try.
She's not the only student I've taken a liking too either. Sometimes, they just get me laughing and laughing. They're hilarious sometimes! We had a brief power outage one day and the whole class just spontaneously started yelling "Recession! Recession!" I was a bit peeved at the chaos, but mostly I just thought it was hilarious. It has really taken a load off of my mind, being able to chat and joke with the students. It feels a lot more free and less uptight. It makes the day more pleasant, than and not getting too upset when they don't shut up.
The only thing that's really bothering me at this point is that I can't sleep. If I'm thinking of my students, I just can't fall asleep. I just can't get to that fuzzy state right before you slip off. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night in between sleep cycles and be unable to fall asleep again because I'll start thinking about them. I've tried watching something (lately it's been Firefly) to get my mind off of them, and then when the episode it over, I try focusing on what happened really hard to try to take my mind off of my students. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I have to watch another episode. I can't fall asleep until I'm dead tired, and even then, if something gets me moving or something reminds me of my kids, I get all woken up again. On Friday when I slept through my alarm, it wasn't really that big of a deal because I couldn't actually sleep that much longer. I woke up about an hour and a half later, just fine. Since I set the alarm too early to begin with (I wanted to have a leisurely breakfast), it wasn't a problem. The whole being tired but unable to sleep thing, however, is not so hot. I fell asleep on the couch downstairs last night. Then I went upstairs a few hours later and I was too worried that brushing my teeth would wake me up and keep me from falling back asleep, so I skipped it and woke up with a gross mouth. This insomnia is really irking me. But at least the job's not making me woefully depressed anymore.
But there's where things have their bright side as well. I was working myself to death with very little results. Since I knew I wasn't going to get the results, I stopped working myself to death. Turns out the quality of each lesson did not change drastically. And if you mess up, oh well. You were going to do that anyway. Who cares if it was something preventable? Something unpreventable would have come up instead. On Friday, I accidentally turned off my alarm instead of pressing snooze. Woops! So I was kind of flying by the seat of my pants that day, but it turned out fine. 6th period was incredibly chatty and didn't work in the classtime provided. 4th period did some of the most godawful presentations I have ever seen. 1st through 3rd periods were probably bored out of their minds. Whatever. They'll live. And hey, half of algebra 1 and algebra readiness fail anyway. Not the greatest of attitudes perhaps, but it takes the pressure off of me somewhat. I mean, seriously, what was I thinking? I was going to be the one to turn them all around? In my first year? Not too likely. I'll do what I can with whom I can. But for that large subsection of the class that isn't focusing, it's nothing new. I have some plans to get them on task for next week, but it's not that big of a deal whatever the case is. I'm trying. If I don't get rehired, oh well. I mean, I do get paid a lot less than a teacher who's been around a while. That's got to mean something. They found me in the bargain bin- they can't expect me to be in pristine condition. And sure I'd like to be rehired, but if I'm not I feel pretty confident that I could find a lower stress, higher paying job elsewhere in a year. Or even lower paying. Whatever. *shrug*
I feel a lot more prepared to handle what I've got right now, but I also know that in a week's time, I should have much smaller class sizes as well, and that should help a lot. Part of me is actually a little worried about it. I have a few students that it's going to break my heart if they get transferred out. There's this one in my algebra 1. She's a total punk and she never works and she talks a lot, but I just can't dislike her. Seriously. I don't know why, but it's like she can do no wrong. She asked for a bathroom pass and as I was writing one up, she told me she was going to go to J hall to use the bathroom (on the other side of the school - we're talking at least a 7 minute walk one way) where she was going to do her makeup. It's a 5 minute bathroom pass and she told me straight she was going to take 20 minutes. I told her I appreciated the honesty, but she really had to be back in 5. She said she wouldn't and I let he go anyway. I couldn't help it - she's hilarious. She makes me laugh a lot. It's kind of a funny change, because you would not believe the hell she gave me in that first week. Seriously I should have hated her and considered her my problem student, but I just couldn't do it. I think it has to do with the day after last Thursday (my day of hell). I moved her to the back of the room (as requested), far away from her friends. She didn't talk that much and she even yelled out answers from time to time. It was so not what I was expecting that it completely endeared her to me. I think it's also because I noticed how smart she is. She's seriously really intelligent. And I think she's really really nice under the tough exterior too. I just can't get mad at her, no matter how little work she does. But she made my day on Friday. Right now I'm super hopeful and a little nervous. She said she'd do her homework this weekend! I asked and she said she'd do it! Teeheeheehee! So if she gets transferred out of my class, I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to do whatever I can to get her back in. I probably can't do a thing, but I'm still going to try.
She's not the only student I've taken a liking too either. Sometimes, they just get me laughing and laughing. They're hilarious sometimes! We had a brief power outage one day and the whole class just spontaneously started yelling "Recession! Recession!" I was a bit peeved at the chaos, but mostly I just thought it was hilarious. It has really taken a load off of my mind, being able to chat and joke with the students. It feels a lot more free and less uptight. It makes the day more pleasant, than and not getting too upset when they don't shut up.
The only thing that's really bothering me at this point is that I can't sleep. If I'm thinking of my students, I just can't fall asleep. I just can't get to that fuzzy state right before you slip off. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night in between sleep cycles and be unable to fall asleep again because I'll start thinking about them. I've tried watching something (lately it's been Firefly) to get my mind off of them, and then when the episode it over, I try focusing on what happened really hard to try to take my mind off of my students. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I have to watch another episode. I can't fall asleep until I'm dead tired, and even then, if something gets me moving or something reminds me of my kids, I get all woken up again. On Friday when I slept through my alarm, it wasn't really that big of a deal because I couldn't actually sleep that much longer. I woke up about an hour and a half later, just fine. Since I set the alarm too early to begin with (I wanted to have a leisurely breakfast), it wasn't a problem. The whole being tired but unable to sleep thing, however, is not so hot. I fell asleep on the couch downstairs last night. Then I went upstairs a few hours later and I was too worried that brushing my teeth would wake me up and keep me from falling back asleep, so I skipped it and woke up with a gross mouth. This insomnia is really irking me. But at least the job's not making me woefully depressed anymore.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
News from the first week of school
Teaching is hard!
I'm the first one there and the last one to leave, but at least I'm not bringing any work home...
New teachers are judged by how many referrals they give. If you give too many, it means you don't know how to handle your class and you don't get rehired. I didn't know about this when I wrote my first referral. I don't care though- even though I wrote it over something trivial, I'd do it again. After I went apeshit on the first slightly defiant kid, the rest of the period was not so bad. There will still be lots of problems with my 6th period, but if I'm mean enough early enough, I think it might not be so bad. And I am kind of happy about breaking my referral cherry. And as much as I think Mt Eden is a nice place, I care less about being rehired than I do about helping the ones who want to learn. On Thursday, class really was a debacle. I had a group of kids talking constantly and I could NOT get them to shut up. They kept getting up and wandering around, messing with my stuff, writing on my overhead, yelling "why" every time I made a comment, and a variety of other stuff. It got to the point where everyone was talking and when that happens, you're doomed. I had a bunch of students yelling for everyone else to shut up, which really doesn't make things any better. But the worst part was noticing a few students quietly watching me. They weren't acting up or talking. They wanted to learn, but I just couldn't do a thing. But on the bright side, it was for their sakes that I was able to quash the talkative ones. I felt really bad for the students I had to get rid of or shut up, especially since education is supposed to be for everyone and they are the most underserved, but I had to look at the greater good as well as at my own ability. They'll have to suck it up and quietly sit in a corner for now. Hopefully with the class as a whole under better control and more seriously attempting the math, they won't try to derail me as much. Eventually, the quieter kids who don't want to derail me might get a little less quiet. Here's hoping anyway.
By the way, wasn't my honeymoon period supposed to be a little longer?
I'm the first one there and the last one to leave, but at least I'm not bringing any work home...
New teachers are judged by how many referrals they give. If you give too many, it means you don't know how to handle your class and you don't get rehired. I didn't know about this when I wrote my first referral. I don't care though- even though I wrote it over something trivial, I'd do it again. After I went apeshit on the first slightly defiant kid, the rest of the period was not so bad. There will still be lots of problems with my 6th period, but if I'm mean enough early enough, I think it might not be so bad. And I am kind of happy about breaking my referral cherry. And as much as I think Mt Eden is a nice place, I care less about being rehired than I do about helping the ones who want to learn. On Thursday, class really was a debacle. I had a group of kids talking constantly and I could NOT get them to shut up. They kept getting up and wandering around, messing with my stuff, writing on my overhead, yelling "why" every time I made a comment, and a variety of other stuff. It got to the point where everyone was talking and when that happens, you're doomed. I had a bunch of students yelling for everyone else to shut up, which really doesn't make things any better. But the worst part was noticing a few students quietly watching me. They weren't acting up or talking. They wanted to learn, but I just couldn't do a thing. But on the bright side, it was for their sakes that I was able to quash the talkative ones. I felt really bad for the students I had to get rid of or shut up, especially since education is supposed to be for everyone and they are the most underserved, but I had to look at the greater good as well as at my own ability. They'll have to suck it up and quietly sit in a corner for now. Hopefully with the class as a whole under better control and more seriously attempting the math, they won't try to derail me as much. Eventually, the quieter kids who don't want to derail me might get a little less quiet. Here's hoping anyway.
By the way, wasn't my honeymoon period supposed to be a little longer?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Facts from the First Day of School
Was exhausting. But interesting. So far I really like my Algebra Readiness class. I was completely expecting them to rip me a new one, but they were really sweet and they looked like they really wanted to work hard. It might just be that it's the first day, but I have to say I really liked them. They made me all warm and fuzzy inside. My Algebra 1 students did not. They weren't that bad really, but my lesson was just more of the same and they weren't having it. And some of my Algebra Readiness students were in my Algebra 1 class, and my lessons for those two classes were really similar. I couldn't blame them for being completely bored and then acting up. They basically had the same class twice in one day.
None of my algebra 2 classes has fewer than 40 students. The sizes should reduce, but what am I supposed to do until then? Well, by contract, they have 15 days to get my load to 170 or less. And here I was thinking I was going to have 150 students. :(
I made up my lesson plan for Algebra Readiness on the fly. I'm happy that I'm able to do that. And it was really pretty good too. I had side by side comparisons of different ways to solve a problem. I had opportunities for students to think, write down their preconceptions, and share with their partners. I had time to check in with students to see if they were following along. And I think I made a good connection with a student who spent most of the class period sleeping. It was not a total lecture and I think I related to the kids ok. I'm pretty pleased with myself, but mostly pleased that I could be spontaneous.
None of my kids seemed to have a problem with my "no make up tests" policy. Yay!
I'm most happy with myself for doing a good job of separating school from the rest of my life. I didn't bring home any work today. So I came home, and I was free to blog, or loaf, or whatever. Yes, I'm blogging about school, but that's by choice and only because Steven isn't home yet. The only school related work I plan to do tonight is making my lunch for tomorrow.
My throat becomes incredibly dry while teaching. Apparently, you get a lot thirstier doing it all day long.
I am fairly hyper in 1st period and incredibly mellow in 6th. After a while, you just shrug at your mistakes.
I don't like spending time with my coworkers during lunch. It's just less time for me to go "phew!" and stare at my sandwich.
abstrusegoose is blocked by the school network. xkcd is not.
Being a first year teacher is tough, but no matter how many years of experience you have, starting at a new school is an amazing amount of bureaucracy and takes a lot of getting settled in.
I don't have a clock in my room. Every single one of my classes complained.
I don't know how to make a referral. I think I might have to soon. *gulp*
Teaching makes you constantly hungry. Maybe because it burns more calories than sitting on your ass, as I've been doing all summer.
I'm getting food now. Bye.
None of my algebra 2 classes has fewer than 40 students. The sizes should reduce, but what am I supposed to do until then? Well, by contract, they have 15 days to get my load to 170 or less. And here I was thinking I was going to have 150 students. :(
I made up my lesson plan for Algebra Readiness on the fly. I'm happy that I'm able to do that. And it was really pretty good too. I had side by side comparisons of different ways to solve a problem. I had opportunities for students to think, write down their preconceptions, and share with their partners. I had time to check in with students to see if they were following along. And I think I made a good connection with a student who spent most of the class period sleeping. It was not a total lecture and I think I related to the kids ok. I'm pretty pleased with myself, but mostly pleased that I could be spontaneous.
None of my kids seemed to have a problem with my "no make up tests" policy. Yay!
I'm most happy with myself for doing a good job of separating school from the rest of my life. I didn't bring home any work today. So I came home, and I was free to blog, or loaf, or whatever. Yes, I'm blogging about school, but that's by choice and only because Steven isn't home yet. The only school related work I plan to do tonight is making my lunch for tomorrow.
My throat becomes incredibly dry while teaching. Apparently, you get a lot thirstier doing it all day long.
I am fairly hyper in 1st period and incredibly mellow in 6th. After a while, you just shrug at your mistakes.
I don't like spending time with my coworkers during lunch. It's just less time for me to go "phew!" and stare at my sandwich.
abstrusegoose is blocked by the school network. xkcd is not.
Being a first year teacher is tough, but no matter how many years of experience you have, starting at a new school is an amazing amount of bureaucracy and takes a lot of getting settled in.
I don't have a clock in my room. Every single one of my classes complained.
I don't know how to make a referral. I think I might have to soon. *gulp*
Teaching makes you constantly hungry. Maybe because it burns more calories than sitting on your ass, as I've been doing all summer.
I'm getting food now. Bye.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Different strokes for different folks
Steven and I are in the middle of buying a house right now. It's pretty stressful for Steven. Not so much for me. I mean, it is a little bit for me, but not at all to the same degree. He is literally losing sleep over the indecision of it all. I have not gotten very worked up one way or the other. I mean, it is something I want and it would be nice to have, but if this one falls through, another will come around. I found this place acceptable in many way and could envision myself getting attached in the future, but I haven't formed any particular attachment yet. In fact, I can't even remember what some of the rooms looked like. I have a pretty good sense of the common areas since those were the most important to me, but I don't even remember the bedrooms or bathrooms that well. I do remember the outside being particularly nice as well. But whatever. There are other places. I felt good about a couple others we saw before as well. I'll feel like another house is acceptable at some point in the future if this one doesn't end up going through. Steven found the house hunt to be pretty interesting, and now is finding it to be pretty stressful, but I have never found it either interesting or stressful (maybe a little of each, but not much). Looking at houses for me was simply a matter of assessing the features and seeing if the correct boxes were checked. When they were not, I moved on. When they were, we investigated the possibility of making an offer. The whole thing has been very businesslike and unemotional for me. I'll get emotional when I have it probably. Until then, it's just a structure.
But my house buying sentiments were not why I felt the need to blog today. Actually, it's both my reaction to houses and my reaction to Firefox 3.5. Upon upgrading to Firefox 3.5 and inadvertently activating the tear away tab feature when trying to move the position of my tabs, I became absurdly emotional. Why would anyone want such a horrible, useless, inconvenient feature? Firefox 3.5 can rot in hell! The mere fact that they included this awkward and counterproductive feature disgusts me. Did they not run focus groups? Did they not think to use simple common sense? Were they so enamored with the idea of some crappy newfangled feature that they forgot about making the browsing experience enjoyable? And at least three times as disgusting as that is the fact that it requires an add-on to disable the pointless waste of life that is tear away tabs. Did they really think that this feature was so indispensable that they couldn't include a simple way to disable it? Do they hate diversity and free choice? It is simply outrageous that they would give us this flawed product in place of our previously useful one. It's like taking away a child's perfectly serviceable bike and replacing it with one with two flat tires and then acting like it's a new feature that will make the bike riding experience more pleasurable. Oh sure, you can fix the "feature" eventually, but it's a big pain in the ass until then, and the audacity of their assumption that this feature would be unanimously well received is an affront beyond words.
I'll admit I'm hamming up my reaction a little bit, but far less than you might think. I did use the word disgusting multiple times and did feel both enraged and disgusted by this ridiculous feature. The add on to remove it is also extremely user unfriendly, and the sheer fact that I had to jump through that hoop to begin with made me rail angrily at the computer for the better part of five minutes.
Steven was flabbergasted by my reaction. He was shocked that something he considered so trivial (literally a five minute fix) had gotten me so worked up. I was more upset by the idea of it than anything else. Ugh. Disgusting that their judgement could be so poor. But I found it very interesting to contrast my level-headedness with regards to the largest purchase of my life and my irrational rage at some day to day minutia. I guess we all have our buttons and for some of us, the buttons aren't screwed on quite right. Like when someone switches your keyboard to dvorak so that all the letters printed on the keys are wrong. I just think it's good that Steven and I tend to match up in such a way that one of us is always at least a little level headed.
But my house buying sentiments were not why I felt the need to blog today. Actually, it's both my reaction to houses and my reaction to Firefox 3.5. Upon upgrading to Firefox 3.5 and inadvertently activating the tear away tab feature when trying to move the position of my tabs, I became absurdly emotional. Why would anyone want such a horrible, useless, inconvenient feature? Firefox 3.5 can rot in hell! The mere fact that they included this awkward and counterproductive feature disgusts me. Did they not run focus groups? Did they not think to use simple common sense? Were they so enamored with the idea of some crappy newfangled feature that they forgot about making the browsing experience enjoyable? And at least three times as disgusting as that is the fact that it requires an add-on to disable the pointless waste of life that is tear away tabs. Did they really think that this feature was so indispensable that they couldn't include a simple way to disable it? Do they hate diversity and free choice? It is simply outrageous that they would give us this flawed product in place of our previously useful one. It's like taking away a child's perfectly serviceable bike and replacing it with one with two flat tires and then acting like it's a new feature that will make the bike riding experience more pleasurable. Oh sure, you can fix the "feature" eventually, but it's a big pain in the ass until then, and the audacity of their assumption that this feature would be unanimously well received is an affront beyond words.
I'll admit I'm hamming up my reaction a little bit, but far less than you might think. I did use the word disgusting multiple times and did feel both enraged and disgusted by this ridiculous feature. The add on to remove it is also extremely user unfriendly, and the sheer fact that I had to jump through that hoop to begin with made me rail angrily at the computer for the better part of five minutes.
Steven was flabbergasted by my reaction. He was shocked that something he considered so trivial (literally a five minute fix) had gotten me so worked up. I was more upset by the idea of it than anything else. Ugh. Disgusting that their judgement could be so poor. But I found it very interesting to contrast my level-headedness with regards to the largest purchase of my life and my irrational rage at some day to day minutia. I guess we all have our buttons and for some of us, the buttons aren't screwed on quite right. Like when someone switches your keyboard to dvorak so that all the letters printed on the keys are wrong. I just think it's good that Steven and I tend to match up in such a way that one of us is always at least a little level headed.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
JMS has outliberaled me
I'm pretty liberal. Sometimes, I will dislike a television show or book simply on the grounds that its message was not liberal enough. I like my media to push agendas I agree with. Otherwise I feel like I'm having an argument with my entertainment.
Here's an example: I disliked the pilot for that new tv show V because it was too xenophobic. It praises those who are fearful and doubtful of people (aliens, visitors, whatever) who are different. It's also interesting how they positioned the aliens as "visitors." As in they quickly outstay their welcome and have to leave. It's interesting actually- the very word alien has come to mean creatures from space, but in reality, the word means different or strange. It's like calling other life "differents." I find it even more odd that immigrants have been branded with that title as well. Of course, I'm not the one in charge of the propaganda machines, and if I was, I think I'd be plugging a different message.
Which brings me back to JMS. I just finished volume 3 of his Rising Stars. A more liberal piece of work I have not seen in a while. Comic books in general (particularly the popular ones) seem to have a tendency towards leftist politics. Take Watchmen, for instance. The republican government is portrayed as manipulative, immoral, and uncaring, as well as strongly implicated in the assassination of JFK. Despite Alan Moore's unflattering portrayal of the republican party, they still look like saints in comparison to JMS's portrayal of them. I appreciate liberal propaganda as much as the next person, but even I can suspend disbelief only so far.
*SPOILER ALERT*
It was interesting to see a vision of a liberal utopia and how such a utopia could be created given our starting materials, but I doubt we'd be seeing an end to drug wars, nuclear armament, or war in the middle east even with a group of super powered folk being total do gooders. Frankly, each step in the progression was totally understandable. JMS even thought of a shockingly plausible solution to ending war in the Middle East (plausible assuming you could telekinetically manipulate small things). Sure it was a beautiful vision and sentiment, but the changes were so sweeping and grandiose that it made it hard for me to really get into it. I mean, solving everything that's wrong with the world? In the span of a lifetime? That's some pretty hardcore suspension of disbelief, even if you do go along with the whole super powers theme. Everything just ended up too perfect, albeit in a very bittersweet way for our main characters.
*END SPOILER ALERT*
This makes me think of an earlier point I made about comics being somewhat left leaning. Rising Stars couldn't be made into a movie or a tv show. I just don't think we could see it in the mainstream. I think it's just too liberal for that. In a sense, that makes me proud, that I'm a fan of a genre that's above average liberal. I didn't even think that was true until recently, and even now, it's a hunch and not something I know. But still, I was naturally drawn to the more liberal media. I believe nerdy material (and nerds in general) tend to be a somewhat liberal bunch. This realization just makes me thing nerds are even cooler than I already believed. Hurrah!
Here's an example: I disliked the pilot for that new tv show V because it was too xenophobic. It praises those who are fearful and doubtful of people (aliens, visitors, whatever) who are different. It's also interesting how they positioned the aliens as "visitors." As in they quickly outstay their welcome and have to leave. It's interesting actually- the very word alien has come to mean creatures from space, but in reality, the word means different or strange. It's like calling other life "differents." I find it even more odd that immigrants have been branded with that title as well. Of course, I'm not the one in charge of the propaganda machines, and if I was, I think I'd be plugging a different message.
Which brings me back to JMS. I just finished volume 3 of his Rising Stars. A more liberal piece of work I have not seen in a while. Comic books in general (particularly the popular ones) seem to have a tendency towards leftist politics. Take Watchmen, for instance. The republican government is portrayed as manipulative, immoral, and uncaring, as well as strongly implicated in the assassination of JFK. Despite Alan Moore's unflattering portrayal of the republican party, they still look like saints in comparison to JMS's portrayal of them. I appreciate liberal propaganda as much as the next person, but even I can suspend disbelief only so far.
*SPOILER ALERT*
It was interesting to see a vision of a liberal utopia and how such a utopia could be created given our starting materials, but I doubt we'd be seeing an end to drug wars, nuclear armament, or war in the middle east even with a group of super powered folk being total do gooders. Frankly, each step in the progression was totally understandable. JMS even thought of a shockingly plausible solution to ending war in the Middle East (plausible assuming you could telekinetically manipulate small things). Sure it was a beautiful vision and sentiment, but the changes were so sweeping and grandiose that it made it hard for me to really get into it. I mean, solving everything that's wrong with the world? In the span of a lifetime? That's some pretty hardcore suspension of disbelief, even if you do go along with the whole super powers theme. Everything just ended up too perfect, albeit in a very bittersweet way for our main characters.
*END SPOILER ALERT*
This makes me think of an earlier point I made about comics being somewhat left leaning. Rising Stars couldn't be made into a movie or a tv show. I just don't think we could see it in the mainstream. I think it's just too liberal for that. In a sense, that makes me proud, that I'm a fan of a genre that's above average liberal. I didn't even think that was true until recently, and even now, it's a hunch and not something I know. But still, I was naturally drawn to the more liberal media. I believe nerdy material (and nerds in general) tend to be a somewhat liberal bunch. This realization just makes me thing nerds are even cooler than I already believed. Hurrah!
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