My evaluation

So I fretted about my evaluation before I met with the principal. She seemed pretty laid back and it felt kind of like she was on my side (to an extent, you know), so I was still pretty nervous, but not so bad. I spoke with some other people who said that they've been trying to rehire the math department for years but just haven't been able to because the quality of teachers was so low. That made me cautiously optimistic. I mean, the people they were unable to rehire before mostly just gave their students some worksheets and then went to sleep at their desks. One of the reasons our district is under no child left behind sanctions is because there was not enough direct instruction. I take my job pretty seriously and actually do teach, so I became a little less stressed out. I mean, I expected criticisms and critiques, but I was thinking it would be something they could work with, at least for another year.

I knew the principal was coming in today during my third period, but we hadn't decided on a particular time last week when we set the date. She said she could come in during the beginning or the end of the period. Since I didn't have my lesson plan put together until this morning, I wasn't really able to let her know what would be the best time. She had other people scheduled during this period also, so I figured it was already decided by them anyway. So I didn't know exactly when she'd be in, so I scheduled stuff at the beginning of class and at the end of class that would be good for her to watch. I put all the classwork where students are supposed to work in the middle. So when does she show up? Of course, right in the middle of the classwork. She stuck around for a while to see if I actually taught anything, but after 20 minutes or so she had to leave. She said as she left that we could reschedule. Oh yeah? For when? She had to have the evaluations finished this week because she's going on a cruise for a month starting like next week. So does that mean she's going to evaluate my direct instruction on Thursday, when my third period doesn't meet? Or on Friday when all of my algebra 2 classes are having a test? Or maybe she could come in to algebra readiness. It's a good class, but they don't learn well through direct instruction. They can listen for 5, maybe 10 minutes tops. They learn by getting the work done, and since they have no homework, class is the only time they can work. That's what the whole class is- working on problems. Or better yet, she can come into my 6th period, aka my algebra 1, aka the class of 37 with 3 students passing. Actually I'd rather she didn't since her seeing that class would automatically mean I would be fired, so I'd rather be fired with no evaluation than with a negative one.

So it's kind of like knowing a test is coming and preparing for it and knowing it wasn't going to be great, but you were probably going to pass, and then being told you can't take the test. No evaluation means no evidence that they should rehire me. So I guess I'm fired.

For a while I wasn't sure if this was the right job for me. Slowly I think I've realized that I do kind of like aspects of it. In fact, I think I'd like it more and more as time goes on. I have been liking it more and more in fact. So I didn't realize how upset it was going to make me to be fired, but right now I am miserable. Utterly miserable.