Yesterday I saw my first fight on campus. I generally stay out in the parking lot where my classroom is, but we had a union meeting at lunch, so I was in the more central part of campus. At first, our meeting was interrupted by screaming outside - a lot of it. Someone went to check and it turned out there was a huge fight. They called security and we holed ourselves back up in the room. I never went outside so I didn't see it, but it was kind of awkward knowing what was going on outside as we tried to discuss whether or not to give our principal a vote of no confidence (yeah, big things were happening. Incidentally, that whole discussion is moot since she was fired today. Yeah. Totally incompetent. So big changes going on at the school. That's stuff for a different entry though). So I never saw that fight, but it was weird being so close to one. Then after the meeting ended, I went outside just in time to see another one start. This one was a lot smaller, with a lot fewer spectators (in part because I think people were distracted by a small tiff going on a few feet away between a security guard and another student). But back to the two students that I saw fighting. It really wasn't anything like I thought. Fights never happened at my high school, or my grade school either, although it looks like they might be kind of commonplace here. This is part of the reason our principal got axed- security is a mess. So my inexperience with fights made me think there would be a lot of punching or shoving, not kicking someone's head as they laid on the floor until the person was dragged away by his friends. That kid was restrained by his friend, but then no one restrained the one getting kicked and he got up and started going after the restrained one. If I got kicked in the head, I'd be done. Hell, give me one shove and I'd back off. I guess that's not the mindset of the fighters though. A teacher and some other students managed to grab the unrestrained one and pull him into a classroom to keep him away. I stuck around for a little bit watching the other altercation between the security guard and the student because a lot of crowds of students were still there. I don't think anything was happening, but they were waiting for something to happen. Which means they missed out on the fight that actually was happening, but I'm starting to get the impression that that was kind of minor.
I went back to my classroom feeling pretty shaken up and dejected. Fights are not exciting. They're awful. It's a horrible thing to watch a person hurt another human being. It's a horrible feeling knowing what's going to happen to those kids. It's a horrible idea to think of what will happen to them if they try to do that off of school grounds. What will happen to them after high school? And what about the kids who aren't even involved? Is this what their learning environment is? How do you feel safe in an atmosphere like that? And if you don't feel safe, how do you learn?
It's really a minority fighting, but these fights are starting to feel more and more common. Our security staff really is great and they contain the issues really well, but these issues keep sprouting up. It's really unsettling. It really shook me yesterday after I saw it. I had to call Steven just to talk for a minute and cool down. In the end, it was probably good that I saw my first fight yesterday. It made me a little more prepared for the fight that broke out in my classroom today.
Yeah. just as I'm all shaken up about fighting, one breaks out in my class. Between my students. Who are now getting suspended over this stupid crap! And it was over almost nothing too! I don't even know really what it was about, but those two were friends. Maybe not so much anymore, but they were. And they're sweet kids too and now they're out. Who knows how many days they'll be suspended, but I know I won't be seeing them for a little while. I saw it escalate too. I tried to calm them down, but clearly not enough. One of them was furious and one of them wasn't upset at all. The one who wasn't upset probably just didn't like being yelled at. She wasn't upset at all, but she's the one who made it physical instead of just shouting. She's my student in a group home. She got moved here from Hemet because she told them if she was in a group home down there, she would just run away. It turns out she tried to run away from this one last Monday, but couldn't get a ride so just headed back. She's a nice kid. She rushes through things and tries to just get them over with, right or wrong, but she's nice. I don't know what the consequences for a suspension will be back at her home. I hope she's ok. I would hate to see her relocated again.
I will say security was excellent about getting to my classroom immediately. It was within a minute that I had two security guards at my door separating the students and escorting them off individually. It's nice to see something running smoothly in the school for a change. Just a few days ago it took 15 minutes for anyone to respond to an emergency situation in the class next door. The teacher kept calling the office (because we're not supposed to call 911 ourselves for some reason) and no one picked up. Apparently they were all at a meeting together. NOT acceptable. It wasn't until the teacher sent a student running to the office that they got a response. Perhaps that situation was the tipping point for our now ex-principal.
I never really thought of our school as a high risk urban school, but I'm thinking now it really is. I kind of didn't realize what I would be getting into. Also, as a new teacher, I didn't realize all the thing that weren't the way they were supposed to be. yesterday, it kind of all hit like a ton of bricks all the things that were more than just difficult challenges for a first year teacher. Everything as a first year teacher is hard, so I didn't realize that some of the hard things weren't actually supposed to be that way. I knew from the beginning that our class sizes were ridiculous and that it was unusual to have students switching classes up to a month into the school year. I knew these were the main reason the principal was under so much fire. Here are some of the things I didn't really realize: I'm supposed to have a clock, and it isn't that hard to get one. This many fights aren't supposed to break out. I should have a site orientation. Every room should have a first aid kit. Internal gates on campus should not be locked. There shouldn't be 172 AOPs (classroom helpers). Teachers should get a chance to review fire routes. Staff meetings should be a forum to talk to administration. My walls should not be in disrepair. Graffiti should be painted over. Students with referrals should not be sent back to classes. New teachers should not have 3 preps. There's about a million other things that should not be the way that they are here. It's so difficult to be a new teacher in this kind of environment. I guess it'll be a story for 10 years down the line. "my first year teaching, I had no idea what was going on! Everything was a mess, and I'm thinking to myself, 'well this sure is hard. I guess it's true when they say the first year is the worst.'" I'm sure I'll be able to refine my description of what a debacle this school year has been for Mt Eden after I've had another year or two under my belt and can see this process done right. I gotta say, I'm looking forward to a new principal with the hope that this one won't suck.
2 comments:
You don't know me. I just happened upon your blog after following a series of links that started on my wife's facebook page. This is my 3rd year of teaching, and as I read through your posts I was constantly remind of my first year.
One piece of advice that I wish someone had told me my first year is that nothing is ever going to be perfect. You can spend hours and hours on a lesson plan, and it can all go straight down the crapper in minutes because of something totally out of your control. Remember that "good enough" sometimes is. Even the veteran teachers phone it in from time to time.
Also remember that some of your best teaching will be totally unscripted and dictated by outside factors. Have your students estimate the number of observers of a fight. Make a chart of response times by campus security. Analyze fight location patterns and predict the next one. There is no reason that your students' math problems can't be about what's happening on your campus.
Finally, I wish I had felt comfortable enough to play the "first year teacher" card when I needed help. Your co-workers know that you are in the midst of one of the hardest rookie seasons that any professional will ever experience. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you're uncomfortable approaching the veterans, look for the teachers with 3-5 years of experience. They vividly remember the hell that you are going through, and they have started to cross over into the "experienced teacher" realm and have started figuring out some of the tricks of the trade. Remember that your admins want you to succeed, if for no other reason that by the end of this year you will know what they want and expect. They don't want to hire someone else and have to start over from scratch. On top of that, many admins secretly miss their days in the classroom and would be happy to talk your ear off about how they used to work it.
Hey thanks for your advice! I've been getting a lot of advice lately (trust me, the new teacher card has come into play more than once already) and this was pretty helpful. I already got a taste of aiming for "good enough" my second week teaching. I spent an insane amount of time planning (as in I spent more time on campus than at home, including sleeping) only to see my carefully laid plans fail miserably. Since then I've been a lot more sane about how much time I will sink into a lesson. I still don't have it all down; I'm working a 60 hour work week and that's probably not too healthy. Yeah, I definitely need to draw my boundaries better and lower my standards at first, but it's tough.
Fight analysis could be an interesting topic too. I'm not sure if anyone keeps records of where they break out, but it might be worth looking into. It's definitely a topic that would hold their attention.
Thanks again for the suggestions!
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