Dilemma

I'm taking this class right now, Urban Education, that's pretty interesting. Our main assignment in the class is this mapping project where we have to map something in a certain neighborhood. One example she gave was a group who mapped all the pumpkins in a neighborhood around Halloween. It correlated strongly which which areas were higher income. It was pretty interesting. My group has decided to focus a little more around public transportation. We're still a little confused about what we're looking for, but we're making some progress.

The mapping project, however, is not my dilemma. The class as a whole is not a dilemma at all. It's covering some interesting subject matter. The problem is the teacher. I have this class (which happens to be three hours long) right before another class (also 3 hours long, coincidentally), and our teach keeps us late almost every week. The first week, she kept us over by a minute. Ok, fine. It happens. The next week she kept us over by 3, and didn't seem to concerned about it. I came up to her after class and said she really couldn't keep us over like that since half the class (all the MACSMEs) had to go to another class afterwards. She pretty much blew me off in response. "It's only 3 minutes." You know, if I didn't have a class afterwards, I might not be so hard on her, but no, it is not only three minutes when that 10 minute break is all you get.

Even though she blew me off that week, the following week she let us out on time, so I thought maybe she had listened after all. Psych! The week after that she kept us over by 5 minutes! This was the day we started really getting in to racism and white supremacy, so it might be a topic she's really into, but that's no excuse. To make matters even worse, she spends her ill gotten minutes just talking and talking and talking- she never lets up! I raised my hand to ask a question 3 minutes before class ended. She said she noticed my hand and would get to it when she finished her thought. That took 4 minutes. Keep in mind, she had been talking for 15 straight right before that. When she finally finished talking, she said, "You have a question?" I said no. She asked if I was sure and I said "yeah. I'm sure" and I have to admit I said it with every ounce of frustration you can see in this blog. When I said no, it was a little bit of a cross between a "no" and a bitter laugh. She might be so oblivious that she didn't notice, but maybe not. In any event, part of the reason I didn't ask my question was because she was already over by a minute and I was starting to get pissed. So I didn't ask my question, thinking we could finally go, but apparently having no questions meant she should go off on another tirade for another three minutes. I have no idea what she said. I was seeing red by that time. I've stopped bothering to listen while she talks anyway. Most people just surf the internet, except that she told us to put away all laptops today so that "everyone in the room will know you are present. Even if you're taking notes, just take them on a sheet of paper." She also sent out an email asking us to put away cell phones during class or she would call us on it publicly.

My first thoughts, of course, were what a bitch she was, how unhelpful this is to our education, how much she ruining the subject matter by being a total dick, etc. But then I started thinking a little more about the subject matter. This thought is kind of out in left field, but what if she's trying to make us feel like a suppressed minority? We're studying the subtle effects of power and how they impact those without power. She has definitely been exercising her authority in a very coercive manner, ignoring many, many complaints about it. She's trying to quash any forms of passive resistance. She's been filming this movie "The Color of Fear" (the only times she's not talking are when this movie is playing, so I am very grateful), and one of the black people in it wasn't getting through to a white person until he started yelling and screaming. So maybe quiet, subtle complaints aren't working because she doesn't want them to work- what if she's waiting for someone to just yell at her in front of everyone about what a dick she's been...

And here is my dilemma. I have enough common sense to realize how stupid it would be to yell at her if that's not what she was going for. Also, I recognize how improbable it is that she has some sort of grandiose plan to make us feel oppressed and learn to mobilize against an oppressor. But can she really be so dense as to not realize that this is a problem? Can she really ignore so many complaints (I know of at least 4)? She also seems a little full of herself. It would be pretty arrogant to make a stab at being the oppressor in order to teach us all a life lesson.

Ok. I'm not going to accuse her of anything, but I am walking out on her class at 4 exactly next week. I suspect others will follow me, and if they don't they will the week after that. Everyone was so irate after class was over, it was all we could talk about. If I leave 5 minutes earlier than them, and then show up to the next class relaxed and mellow, with no repercussions (I mean, what can she do?), they'll go along the next time for sure.

Sigh. I wish I didn't have to fight so much. I suppose it's only natural that I draw parallels between what we're being taught and the behavior of the teacher teaching it, but in all likelihood, I'd be surprised if she sees the comparison. There are a lot of education professors who don't know the first thing about teaching. She keeps talking about her undergrads, an easily cowed lot, I'm sure. I know I was. But I'm afraid I'm too sassy and full of myself (though perhaps not to the extent that she's full of herself) to let this sort of awful pedagogy slide for long.